Holy Matrimony

God created man and woman out of love and commanded them to imitate his love in their relations with each other. Man and woman were created for each other…Woman and man are equal in human dignity, and in marriage both are united in an unbreakable bond. (United States Catholic Catechism for Adults, Ch. 21, p. 279)

The sacrament of marriage is a visible sign of God’s love for the Church. When a man and a woman are married in the Church, they receive the grace needed for a lifelong bond of unity.

Thinking About Getting Married in one of the Catholic Parishes of the Blue Hills?

To speak to someone about the opportunity to be married in one of the parishes of the Blue Hills Collaborative, including marriage prep, details of the ceremony, the customary offering, etc, please call the Collaborative offices at 857-342-9500.


Our suggested freewill donation for a wedding at the Catholic Parishes of the Blue Hills is $500.

Marriage is a Covenant

The Sacrament of Marriage is a covenantal union in the image of the covenants between God and his people with Abraham and later with Moses at Mt. Sinai. This divine covenant can never be broken. In this way, marriage is a union that bonds spouses together during their entire lifetime.
The sacrament of Matrimony signifies the union of Christ and the Church. It gives spouses the grace to love each other with the love with which Christ has loved his Church; the grace of the sacrament thus perfects the human love of the spouses, strengthens their indissoluble unity, and sanctifies them on the way to eternal life. (CCC 1661)
The love in a married relationship is exemplified in the total gift of one’s self to another. It’s this self-giving and self-sacrificing love that we see in our other model of marriage, the relationship between Christ and the Church.
Marriage is based on the consent of the contracting parties, that is, on their will to give themselves, each to the other, mutually and definitively, in order to live a covenant of faithful and fruitful love. (CCC 1662)
The Church takes the lifelong nature of the Sacrament of Marriage seriously. The Church teaches that a break in this covenant teaches goes against the natural law of God:
The remarriage of persons divorced from a living, lawful spouse contravenes the plan and law of God as taught by Christ. They are not separated from the Church, but they cannot receive Eucharistic communion. They will lead Christian lives especially by educating their children in the faith. (CCC 1665)

Marriage Reflects the Holy Trinity

We believe that God exists in eternal communion. Together, Father, Son and Holy Spirit are united in one being with no beginning and no end. Human beings, likewise, were created by God in God’s image for the purpose of communion with another human being.


The Catechism of the Catholic Church states, “The Christian family is a communion of persons, a sign and image of the communion of the Father and the Son in the Holy Spirit” (CCC 2205). The Sacrament of Marriage is “unitive, indissoluble and calls us to be completely open to fertility.” Christian marriage at its finest is a reflection of God’s self-giving love expressed between the love of two people.


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Frequently Asked Questions about the Sacrament of Matrimony

  • Can our wedding take place outdoors, in my parent's home or at a restaurant?

    Catholics are required to celebrate their wedding in a Catholic Church, before a priest and two witnesses. If the bride or groom is not Catholic and you wish for the wedding to take place in his or her church, or at some other location, that is possible with special permission of your home diocesan bishop. It is important to work through your local parish so that the requirements for the Catholic parish are fulfilled. 

  • Only one of us is Catholic. Can we still have Mass?

    Yes, but it is worth thinking carefully about this. If you want to have Mass, you need permission from your bishop to do so. The Church says that when either the bride or groom is not Catholic, the second or third form of the celebration should be used unless pastoral concerns suggest otherwise. The wedding ceremony should be as inclusive as possible and if one of you cannot receive Communion or if you will have a large number of non-Catholic guests, it is preferable to use one of the forms without Mass. 

  • Is the wedding still a sacrament if there is no Mass?

    The free exchange of consent between a baptized man and a baptized woman makes the marriage a sacrament, not the act of doing so within the context of a Mass. The Order of Celebrating Matrimony without Mass is just as valid a celebration of the sacrament of the Order of Celebrating Matrimony within Mass. If both the bride and groom are Catholic, the normal form of celebrating Matrimony is within Mass. 

  • Can the ordained minister from my fiancé’s church have a role at our wedding?

    Yes, with some restrictions. Your priest and your fiancé’s minister or pastor cannot “co-officiate” using the Catholic rite, nor can they each celebrate their own ritual at your wedding. In certain circumstances, a minister from another church may proclaim a scripture reading, give an exhortation, or pray a blessing at a Catholic wedding so long as he or she has been invited to do so by the pastor of the Catholic parish. 

  • Do our best man and maid/matron of honor both have to be Catholic?

    No. According to the Canon Law of the Church, you need two witnesses in addition to the presider. You do not specifically need one man and one woman, and the witnesses do not need to be baptized. They do need to understand what is going on and so must have reached the age of reason and be in full control of their reason. 

  • Can we choose any songs we want for our wedding?

    The music chosen for your wedding must be commonly understood as sacred music. The Church has a rich tradition of beautiful hymns and other music from which you can choose what pieces you wish to use. 

  • May we use readings that are not in the Bible?

    The Order of Celebrating Matrimony calls for the use of scripture readings as the primary way that God speaks to us about the nature and meaning of the sacrament. Poems and other readings not found in the Bible may not be used for your wedding liturgy, but consider using them as part of your rehearsal dinner or wedding reception. 

  • May non-Catholics proclaim the readings?

    If you choose to use the second or third form of the Celebration, which do not include Mass, then yes. However, if you are having Mass, then a Catholic should proclaim the readings. 

  • Do we have to memorize our vows? Can we write our own vows?

    While your vows are personal, they are not private. Rather, they are public expressions of your love, faithfulness and commitment. You are not free to write your own vows but you can choose from options. Some priests or deacons suggest that couples memorize vows while others do not. 

  • Do we have to go to confession before our wedding?

    One of the best ways for Catholics to prepare spiritually for their wedding is to celebrate Reconciliation. Making time to examine your Christian commitments in confession prior to accepting your new role in the Church as a married person is a wonderful way to experience the healing, forgiveness and grace Christ offers you. 

  • How much does it cost to have a wedding at one of the Churches?

    Our suggested freewill donation for a wedding is $500. We are happy to help you in planning and celebrating your wedding. If you would like to make a free will offering to the Church, please feel free to mention that to the priest when you meet with him. A separate fee would be given directly to the organist and cantor for their services. The priest who prepares you for your wedding will help you with this. 

For information on “Transformed in Love,” the marriage preparation program sponsored by the Archdiocese of Boston, please click here.

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